Love, Hate, & Tears
by Nephi Lockwood
Summary: This is a little peek into the mind of Draco Malfoy's mother, Narcissa, who honestly loved Lucius and loved her little Draco more than anything. ONE-SHOT.  R&R, please.


**Author's Note: The idea hit me last night, like I've never been hit before. Love #2 came to me immediately, and everything else fell into place all by itself. I'm surprised at how easy it was to write. Usually I can't do third person.**

**It all started when I was looking for an idea to write. I realized that I have never written a one-shot before. So I decided that I was going to write one. So here it is. I hope it doesn't suck.**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Narcissa Malfoy.

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****Love, Hate, & Tears  
A Narcissa Malfoy One-Shot  
**  
Love  
1. Narcissa really did love Lucius Malfoy.

Despite what the others believed, she honestly loved him. She would not have married him if she didn't. She always knew that she would only marry for love.

And that made his betrayal somehow worse than if she hadn't loved him.

2. Narcissa Malfoy knew, from the first moment she saw him, that she would come to love her son more than anything.

Sitting in that hospital bed, realizing that Voldemort could very well take her little Draco if he wanted to, she knew that she had to act. So she made her husband promise her that Draco would never be a Death Eater. She didn't want him to experience the things that she had. She didn't want him to know the killing, the fear, didn't want him to see the things that the Death Eaters do.

3. She knew that Astoria made her son happy. But there was more to her easy acceptance of the girl than that.

As they talked and met up, Astoria began to take on the role of the daughter she never had, and she loved the girl very much. She knew that one day Astoria would end up married to her son. So, when the time came, she had already accepted her a long time ago.

Hate  
4. She hated the Dark Lord more than anything.

So, while she supported her family, she was secretly hurt that people really believed that she was a supporter. She wasn't. She only became involved because Voldemort held her husband and her son at his fingertips. It was up to him to determine if they lived or died. He was the shadow hanging over their life.

So she did not regret rejoicing when the news of his death reached her.

5. She'd never liked Pansy Parkinson. She would never have called the feeling hate, though. Not until Pansy decided that she was going to break Astoria and Draco up. That was the last straw. The limited patience she had held for the stupid girl had snapped.

The girl never seemed to know her place. She was also quite ugly and developed an unhealthy obsession with her little Draco. And when Draco first told her that Pansy was his girlfriend, Narcissa had known that he could do so much better than that.

The girl never seemed to realize that Draco didn't return her feelings. If Narcissa hadn't disliked the girl so much, she would have felt sorry for her.

6. Though she'd never admit it to anyone, Narcissa Malfoy hated that Bella just watched her sister leave. In fact, she realized that she hated Bella.

She has never been close to Bella. Not like she had been to Andromeda. So when her sister walked away, and Bella didn't try to stop her, she wasn't surprised. Because Bella was a Slytherin, through and through. Bella worshipped the Dark Lord, and Narcissa hated her for it.

And then Andromeda was always hanging around with cousin Sirius Black, and he became a Griffindoor, clouding her thoughts with fantasies of an unprejudiced world. Narcissa always would blame Sirius. She refused to believe that her sister would walk away from her because she wanted to.

And then Bella was convincing Draco to be a Death Eater, and giving him over to Voldemort, and she just couldn't stand her sister anymore. Because that was her little Draco, her baby, and Bella was practically giving him over to death.

(Years later, during the second war, they would meet again, and she would finally make up with Andromeda. She wouldn't even really care that Bella was dead. Because by the end of the war, she hated Bellatrix.)

Tears  
7. She cried for Draco. Often.

She cried when she saw him for the first time. He was her baby son, and he was just so perfect, and she loved him with all her heart, and he was going to be forced into a home that supported the Dark Lord, and eventually he would take his father's place as a Death Eater.

She cried as she watched him board the Hogwarts Express with all the other little first years. That was her baby, going away to Hogwarts for the first time, and she was so scared that she was going to lose him, that he would make friends and no longer love his mother.

She cried when he became a Death Eater.

Because Lucius had promised her that he would never make his son experience the killing, the all-consuming fear.

And sixteen was much too young to be a Death Eater.

He was practically still a child. Children should never be forced to do the things that he was forced to do.

She never did forgive Lucius for that betrayal. It hurt, more than any of the others. Because her son was paying for her husband's mistakes.

She cried even as she searched the castle for him that final night. Her baby, in all of this fighting...he could die, and she would never forgive herself if she didn't get there in time to save him and she only found his body.

She cried when she found him, safe and alive during the battle. That was one of the happiest moments of her life. Finding her son safe and alive was such a relief. She could have killed the Dark Lord at that point for almost getting her baby killed.

She cried when he told her that he was getting married to Astoria. She couldn't help it. Her baby was all grown up. He didn't need her anymore.

8. She cried when she met her grandson. She couldn't keep it inside. Scorpius looked so much like his father. Her only hope is for Scorpius to grow up in the safe world that Draco had never had. She wanted him to have a normal life, free from everything that had destroyed her own son's life.

9. She cried over Lucius.

It was impossible not to. He was her husband, her Lucius, the man she loved almost as much as her Draco. When he got locked up in Azkaban for trying to take the prophecy, she cried, even though she knew he deserved it. When he finally died, she once again cried for the man. And some nights she cried because of the empty house and because she missed him, more than seemed possible. She was incredibly lonely without her boys.

10. And Narcissa sometimes cried for herself, when she was alone inside that huge house. She cried for what she could' be had and what almost was. She cried for what could have been. And she cried just so she knew she could feel emotion.

Sometimes, she cried just because it was the only thing that kept her sane.

(She didn't shed a tear the day she died, though. She had been ready for death to overtake her for a long time.)

Finis

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**Author's Note: So how is it? Let me know what you think. And if you see something that should be changed, please let me know.**

**~Nephi Lockwood**

**I'm so proud of myself for actually managing to get this down on paper!  
**


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